Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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