i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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