I like my sex mixed with concussions.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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