Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize