Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
literally had 100 drinks last night.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
and she was petting her beer can
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
