so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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