All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
