he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
