how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
