I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
