Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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