i think i have two assholes
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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