I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
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