There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Randomize