I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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