Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
