We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
