I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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