Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
