I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I would ride that face into the sunset
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