I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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