come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
