Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
