Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
