I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
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