1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I hate all girls vehemently.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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