I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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