I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
