Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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