i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
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