Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
My pussy is not your playground.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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