i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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