Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Will exercising make me less horny?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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