Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
im holly from the hills drunk
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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