i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
