I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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