i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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