so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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