her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
