All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
