I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
