Small penises have feelings too.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
