Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize