he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
