We're like a lot better than the average bears
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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