I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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