i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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