Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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