either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
he puts the penis in happiness.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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