Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
