It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
