Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
