I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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