Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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