Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Randomize
