kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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