xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
