So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
