idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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