She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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