He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
